My Grieving Process.

My Grieving Process.

This is exactly what I’m going through. I’m still grieving my relationship with Heroin, my daughter living in a different state, my brothers suicide from a year ago and now I’m grieving my relationship with my best friend. 14448842_10154526724519710_5208600671471026502_n

Grieving my best friend comes in waves, at first I was just sad all day and wanted nothing more then just numb it with someone elses validation, now through out the day I’ll wake up refreshed and happy and as the day goes on, I’m either super angry and pissed at everything about him or I’m just sad like I just miss him! I miss almost everything about him. Some days on my way home from work, I listen to songs that remind me of him and I just CRY! Like yesterday, I had one song on repeat and cried the whole 30 mins to my house.

Today, I’m feeling that same way. I MISS HIM!!! I know this is a HUGE process and in this aspect of my life, it will get easier with time. ONE DAY AT A TIME. I had to write him a letter, yesterday and that helped a lot, it was a huge release, just as my blog is a release.


Grief is really hard because there’s nothing any one can do or say to make the pain go away. The pain will most likely never go away but just learning to cop and deal with it is just how it works. Of course, having love, compassion and support makes it TONS easier but it still fucking hurts.

“Just because a relationship ends, it doesn’t mean it’s not worth having.” ~ Sarah Mlynowski

Too often we try to soothe ourselves by diminishing a relationship’s value in order to get over it more quickly. But it’s OK to think that the relationship was pretty great, but now it’s over, and it was worth going through the pain of the ending for all the good times you had together. Love always comes with the risk of getting hurt and putting yourself through some tough times, but it’s always worth the special moments you share.

16 Empowering Quotes About Breaking Up and Moving On

This right here has helped today. I don’t hate him, I love him. I’m grateful for him. He’s still my best friend. He’s an amazing father. We’ve been through thick and thin together and it will be that way for the rest of our life’s. I totally understand that right now it’s just not our time, I’m perfectly ok with that, it’s just being without my best friend for this time, how ever long it may be, I have no idea, but it’s hard! Grief if one of the worst pains in the world but it’s makes us so much strong when we pull through and understand that we can do this.

I just have to get this out of my head. I don’t even care who see this. This is me being REAL.

If you are grieving in any way shape or form, whether it be from a break up, death, drugs, WHATEVER, even if you aren’t, reach out to me! We can get through this life together.

LOVE IS IMPORTANT yet such a risk for heartache but IT’S WORTH IT!!!


5 thoughts on “My Grieving Process.

  1. THOUGHTS ON GRIEF, something, I was given a long long time ago, and read again at my Mothers funeral in 2001. Had to OCR it hope its not to garbled.
    I had my own notion of grief
    I thought it was a sad time
    that followed death or tragedy
    And you had to push through it
    To get to the other side
    I’m learning there is no other side
    There is no pushing through.
    it But rather. Absorption
    Adjustment and
    Grief is not something that you complete.
    But rather you endure.
    It is not a task you finish.
    But is is an alteration to your very Being, a new way of seeing and an new way of living. A element of yourself that you must allow to be changed forever.

    1. Thank you so much, Richard! This really helps me. I am really working on acceptance and compassion. But I also love how you said “An element of yourself that you much allow to be changed forever.” <3

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