You know those days when the disease of addiction is just flat out REAL and IN YOUR FACE?!?! Yep, that day is today.
You know those days when all you want to do is cry tears of compassion and love for those who are struggling and their loved ones? Yep, that day is today.
My heart is heaving, my compassion has sky rocked and my gratitude has grown.
Life through the eyes of an addict has gotten extremely real in the last 24 hours. This disease is FUCKING POWERFUL, people!! It’s gotten so real that I get the reality of how low the statics of how many people actually make it in sobriety. That’s just how life work when you’re in recovery. AND THAT’S OK but it’s HARD!!!!
This is when being spiritually fit comes into play. What that looks like to me is, having the ability to reach out to those who are struggling and be strong for them, when I too, am struggling and they don’t have the tools to reach out to me; it’s having the ability to reach for strength from God because I know he has all the power and has a fucking plan for me and every single person around me; it’s having the ability to cry and scream and just BE whatever I’m feeling in the moment because I know that it will pass and gratitude and love will flood in when all the pain, sorrow and anger has lessened.
I am not angry with those who suffer, I am not angry with God, the only thing I am angry at, right now is the POWER that addiction has on the mind. But also, I can be accepting of that power today and that lessens that power, substantially, granite acceptance only lessens it in my mind, but it also allows me to have a mountain of compassion for those that have an overpowering urge to give in to the demons in their mind, if that makes any sense, I have no idea but that’s just what’s coming out as I write.
Shit, look at the person I’ve become because of this disease?! Look at the strength my Higher Power has granted me?! This was put in my life so I that can support others along the way, weather that be from addiction or depression or motherhood, whatever! I tend to learn things the absolute hardest way and I think the reasoning behind that is so I can support others that have gone through similar trials as I.
The human mind is so POWERFUL, in the most amazing ways, but also in a lot of negative ways. I choose to use my mind in ways the suit me and the ones that choose to be part of it. We can all work together to make this world a more kind and compassionate place, if we choose it to be that way.
I CHOOSE LIFE! I CHOOSE HAPPINESS AND COMPASSION! I CAN DO HARD THINGS AND SO CAN YOU!!!!!!!
FUCKING LOVE YOURSELF TODAY, KNOW YOUR WORTH! I LOVE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU!!!
If ANY of you that are reading this, need support in ANY kind of way, please reach out to me. We can get through this life together. I don’t care what your color, sexuality, addiction, no addiction, etc may be. REACH OUT!! YOU ARE LOVED!!!
Thank you for reading.. MUCH LOVE <3